The Shadow

Everything was going just fine. Fine and dandy.
But I got ahead of myself.
As if this battle was going to be won that easily.
It happened on a Friday morning.
I was jogging back home, exhausted but proud, when he ran passed me.
A blond Iron man, unbothered by the cold, wearing shorts and flashy sneakers.
He was lightning fast, way too fast.
Fascinated, forgetting to breath, I nearly stopped in my tracks.
All my achievements of the past six months shattered, gone in smoke.
I knew nothing of this man.
Perhaps he had just started running minutes before I saw him...
Perhaps he had been running for 10 years...
Perhaps I should not have given a damn!
Ever since that encounter, my runs have been excruciating.

My breathing is off, my legs hurt, the voice in my head is making itself at home again... and there’s the shadow.
I can see it from the corner of my eye, long and dark, filling me with self-doubt.
I could stop right there, walk home with my tail between my legs and tell myself it’s been a great ride but that the party is over.
And then, your iPod spits out that song.
The one that makes you feel invincible.
You start breathing again, smiling.
You hear their little voices saying “Mommy, tu vas courir ?”
And you turn that corner.
The sun is in your back and the wind is pushing you.
The shadow becomes a whole new shape before your eyes: the promise of what you could become if you choose not to quit.
And you start running faster to catch it.