Note: The content on this blog is mostly in French but there will be stories in English from time to time, especially if the anectodes took place in an “English context”.
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To John, who has more confidence in me than I have in myself.
I came up with the idea for this post a long time ago. Originally, it was supposed to be called Analysis-Paralysis but I recently stumbled upon an article about Over Thinking that made me change my mind.
Since analyzing events down to the bone has become the pain of my existence, this article attracted me for obvious reasons. A veteran of the Could have-Would have-Should-have game, I recognized myself in every sentence! Don’t you love it when that happens? I do! It makes me feel better, less alone, more normal. Even more so if I find out that a researcher at some Ivy League university has pinpointed my problem and given it a “scientific name”: Rumination. Yup, rumination, like that thing a cow does when it constantly rechews its food. A destructive mental habit that sucks up all your energy and ruins your confidence.
Every time I experience a distressful situation, I feel the need to replay the events over and over in my head, asking big questions: Why did this happen? What does it mean? But I rarely find answers or come up with solutions that would help me move forward. It feels like the only thing I’m interested in is to dwell on the past and beat myself up for not making the right decisions. And to make matters worst, I just can’t resist the urge to talk it out... with everyone.
I do it all the time, without even knowing that I’m doing it. It’s like breathing. I mean, I’m aware of it but when it happens, I struggle to keep it under control. And you just can’t press a button to make it go away. So how do you stop your mind from taking over?
The insane amount of time I spent over-analyzing is really what rang the alarm bell for me. I’m an anxious type, easily overwhelmed by life and I kept wondering why I lacked energy and never had time to do anything. Well, hello! Because when you start ruminating, it’s like a downward spiral. If you don’t fight it, forget it, you’re gone. Totally absorbed in your own thoughts, it can take days before you come up for air... So when you think about how every minute in life is precious because it’s never coming back, it makes you realize that this kind of wacky behaviour is simply unacceptable.
Another tactic I started using to police my thoughts, is to distance myself from people and situations. If a friend is not answering my email, it’s not because I said something at the last party that might have offended her... Maybe she is just busy. If my boss is not saying hello in the morning, it’s not because he thinks the document I submitted the day before is crap. Maybe he’s just tired! It’s not always about me and what I did or did not do!
But I have to admit that so far, the unflattering mental image of the “Ruminator” has had quite an effect on me. Seriously, how disturbing is it to think of yourself as a cow chewing its cud all day... It’s pretty powerful stuff. Works for me!
Since analyzing events down to the bone has become the pain of my existence, this article attracted me for obvious reasons. A veteran of the Could have-Would have-Should-have game, I recognized myself in every sentence! Don’t you love it when that happens? I do! It makes me feel better, less alone, more normal. Even more so if I find out that a researcher at some Ivy League university has pinpointed my problem and given it a “scientific name”: Rumination. Yup, rumination, like that thing a cow does when it constantly rechews its food. A destructive mental habit that sucks up all your energy and ruins your confidence.
Every time I experience a distressful situation, I feel the need to replay the events over and over in my head, asking big questions: Why did this happen? What does it mean? But I rarely find answers or come up with solutions that would help me move forward. It feels like the only thing I’m interested in is to dwell on the past and beat myself up for not making the right decisions. And to make matters worst, I just can’t resist the urge to talk it out... with everyone.
I do it all the time, without even knowing that I’m doing it. It’s like breathing. I mean, I’m aware of it but when it happens, I struggle to keep it under control. And you just can’t press a button to make it go away. So how do you stop your mind from taking over?
The insane amount of time I spent over-analyzing is really what rang the alarm bell for me. I’m an anxious type, easily overwhelmed by life and I kept wondering why I lacked energy and never had time to do anything. Well, hello! Because when you start ruminating, it’s like a downward spiral. If you don’t fight it, forget it, you’re gone. Totally absorbed in your own thoughts, it can take days before you come up for air... So when you think about how every minute in life is precious because it’s never coming back, it makes you realize that this kind of wacky behaviour is simply unacceptable.
Another tactic I started using to police my thoughts, is to distance myself from people and situations. If a friend is not answering my email, it’s not because I said something at the last party that might have offended her... Maybe she is just busy. If my boss is not saying hello in the morning, it’s not because he thinks the document I submitted the day before is crap. Maybe he’s just tired! It’s not always about me and what I did or did not do!
But I have to admit that so far, the unflattering mental image of the “Ruminator” has had quite an effect on me. Seriously, how disturbing is it to think of yourself as a cow chewing its cud all day... It’s pretty powerful stuff. Works for me!
** This comic strip is by Leigh Rubes, a syndicated cartoonist I discovered over the Holidays. I don't have the rights to this image but I just couldn't resist posting it. If I get busted by the SOPA people, I will remove it immediately, I promise!
Sometimes, all we need is to deeply inhale and exhale. Just like Cypress Hill. :P
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